For a few reasons I'm not able to install many distros on it, but for whatever reason the *buntu alternate install CDs work. However, every official release of *buntu is too heavy and has dragged on this computer. The best I could do was a Xubuntu install, but the problems with Xfce were many and frustrating.
Then I discovered LXDE, which can be installed through Synaptic. I did it days ago and since have had an amazing computing experience! It was a complete success and I feel like I resurrected my machine. It's responsive, sleek, and exactly what I was hoping for when I bought it off of a friend for $20.

So thank you to all of the developers who have created a -true- lightweight DE that works so well off of an *buntu base. I am eagerly anticipating the release of Lubuntu!
(I apologize if this is the wrong place to put this thread, but I couldn't find a more appropriate place for it!)